Confucius says: Girl who marries diamond merchant, gets a gem of a person.

Confucius says: Man who is gay, can be a pain in the a**.

Confucius says: Man who loses left hand, must eat food with a spoon.

Confucius says: Suicide bomber who walks into 31st night party, starts New Year with a bang.

Confucius says: Getting a job is like having a baby. Only the end result matters, not the number of attempts it took.

Confucius says: Man who works in coal mine, earns black money.