Confucius Says: Man who wants to become sperm donor, must grab the opportunity with both hands.

MBA Specials ;)

Confucius says: Man who is MBA in finance, looks at a girl like a balancesheet - the focus is on the topline and the bottomline.

Confucius says: Man who is MBA in operations, plans his family vacation on a GANTT chart.

Confucius says: Man who is MBA in Marketing is awesome in bed - he knows a lot about positioning, penetration, and customer satisfaction.

Confucius says: Man who can't handle a woman at her worst, doesn't deserve her at her best.

Confucius says: Girl who goes for silicone implants, makes a mountain out of a molehill.

Confucius says: Man caught undergoing facial at womens' beauty parlor, loses face.

Confucius says: Man who puts bottle of fruit juice in suitcase, packs a punch.

Confucius says: Prostitution is probably the only job where freshers are paid more than experienced folks.

Confucius says: Man who over-boozes at farewell, doesn't fare too well.

Confucius says: Beware of the girl who promises you hot and steamy action at night, she will just make you iron her clothes.

Confucius says: Man who plays Holi in college classroom, will be caught "red-handed".

Confucius says: Man who socializes with pretty girls, intends to privatize with them.

Confucius says: Man who overdoses on laxative, is scared to sneeze.

Confucius says: Man who messes around on facebook, loses face and gets booked.

Confucius says: Man who rewrites the rules of strategy, is writing a midterm evaluation paper.

Confucius says: Man who robs bank, gives everyone a run for their money.

Confucius says: Man who sells footwear accessories, works on a shoestring budget.

Confucius says: Man who was dude before marriage, is now subdued.

Confucius says: Girl who marries diamond merchant, gets a gem of a person.

Confucius says: Man who is gay, can be a pain in the a**.

Confucius says: Man who loses left hand, must eat food with a spoon.

Confucius says: Suicide bomber who walks into 31st night party, starts New Year with a bang.

Confucius says: Getting a job is like having a baby. Only the end result matters, not the number of attempts it took.

Confucius says: Man who works in coal mine, earns black money.

Confucius says: Software engineer who flirts with beautiful client, is just trying to be user-friendly.

Confucius says: Man who overdoses on laxatives on 31st night, will begin the New Year in deep shit.

Confucius says: Man who forgets to give Christmas gift to girlfriend, gets crucified.

Confucius says: A little kid once wrote to Santa Claus, "Santa, send me a brother". Santa replied, "Send me your mother."

Confucius says: Software engineer who watches porn in office, will get a quick release.

Confucius says: Man who celebrates birthday in hostel, has a kickass time.

Confucius says: Man who gets placed in cigarette company, gets a smoking hot offer.

Confucius says: Man who works in telecom company, has good networking skills ;)

Confucius says: Man who mixes Viagra with laxative, does not know whether he's coming or going.

Confucius says: Boy who ogles at school teacher, will soon be taught a lesson.