Confucius says: Women are like roads - the more curves they have, the more dangerous they become.

Confucius says: Marketing is like sex - proper targeting and positioning is required to achieve penetration.

Confucius says: Man who eats too much chicken before placements, lays an egg during the interview.

Confucius says: MBAs don't faff, they just try to give a holistic perspective on leveraging core competencies to generate a synergistic paradigm.

Confucius says: Man who boozes before placements, goes to interview in high spirits.

Other Nuggets of Wisdom...

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything

The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots right back.

Scientists have recently discovered the fossils of a gay dinosaur. The species has been named Mega-Sore-Ass.

Cricket is getting exciting day by day with the introduction of IPL n T20… Same rules should be applied in Examz! (1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour. (2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins. (3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.(4) Strategic Time-Out - Time For Students For Discussion. (5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question.

Great students like us work on the principle of rockets - Not that we aim for the skies, but we get to work only when our ass is on fire ;)

Deepa Mehta made a film on lesbians and named it FIRE, now she is making another film on gays. Guess the name? 'BACKFIRE'

The arms of a bargirl from Yale; Were tattooed with the price of the ale And on her behind For the use of the blind Was the same information, in Braille

I must be spending too much time on my computer. At night, instead of dreams, I get screensavers.

Confucian Wisdom - Entire Archive

Confucius says: A wedding is a public announcement of private intentions.

Confucius says: An MBA always gives sound advice. 99% Sound and 1% advice.

Confucius says: Vocabulary is that which enables a man to describe a beautiful woman without using his hands.

Confucius says: Cricketer who flirts with wrestler's girlfriend, will soon get to know the meaning of a no-ball.

Confucius says: Man who gets stuck in revolving door of beauty parlour, goes around with several girls.

Confucius says: Man with big mouth, must beware of foot.

Confucius says: Chemist who falls into tub of acid, gets absorbed in work.

Confucius says: Man exhibiting diarrhoea of the mouth, is actually suffering from constipation of the brain.

Confucius says: Man who goes to bed with sex problem on mind, wakes up with solution in hand.

Confucius says: Always take life with a pinch of salt.... plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Confucius Says: Computer Engineer who uses Viagra, wants to convert floppy disk into hard drive.

Confucius says: A passionate kiss is like a spider's web, it invariably leads to the undoing of the fly.

Confucius says: Man who loses 8GB pendrive, suffers from severe memory loss.

Confucius says: Man who ogles at beautiful girls, is trying to get a holistic view.

Confucius Says: Man who plays Counter-Strike on exam night, will suffer a headshot during the exam.

Confucius says: Man who rewrites the rules of management.. is writing an Strategy paper.

Confucius says: Man who studies in the loo on exam day, ends up writing a shitty paper.

Confucius says: Man who eats spicy Diwali delicacies at night, will have fireworks in the loo, the next morning.

Confucius says: Man who spends Diwali in bed with hot girlfriend will have a cracker of a night.

Confucius says: Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug.

Confucius says: Man who takes sleeping pill and laxative on the same night will wake up in deep shit.

Confucius says: Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Confucius says: Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.